| Foolish Food Laws | | | | devices, who would possibly think this may be |
| Here is good new in today's economy! In both | | | | OK? Why do so many states have laws about |
| Tennessee and West Virginia it is legal to gather | | | | this? Does this mean it is allowed in all the places |
| and consume road kill. Wait, did that say road kill!! | | | | that don't specifically mention it? |
| Do they mean those little animals sleeping on the | | | | Marlboro, MA has a law against detonating a |
| side of the road? I am not really sure...road | | | | nuclear device in the city. I suppose step over the |
| kill...grocery bills..which is worse? | | | | city's boundary it is suddenly fine to do?! Chico, |
| I am sure you have all heard of New England | | | | CA clearly defines the penalty for detonating a |
| Clam Chowder. This is different from Manhattan | | | | nuclear device in their city. You will be fined |
| Clam Chowder which has a tomato based sauce. | | | | $500...what?! I wonder who is alive to fine you, or |
| In case anyone is wondering where | | | | separate your dust from the others for that |
| Massachusetts stand, here it is...it is illegal in | | | | matter. At least in Utah it is illegal to detonate a |
| Massachusetts to use tomatoes when making | | | | nuclear device in the entire state...I guess they |
| clam chowder. The only state where white is so | | | | never paid attention in history! |
| important you can't make red chowder! | | | | Nuclear devices are one thing, but think of this |
| Pickles can be notorious (don't forget the Dill inger | | | | deadly weapon...the dreaded silly string! I know, I |
| gang), so don't eat them in Trenton, NJ on | | | | can hear you all wailing in fear...not the silly string, |
| Sundays, it may be as illegal as robbing a bank! | | | | p-p-please, not the silly string! Yes, just like you, |
| People from Connecticut know how to tell a real | | | | these places also fear the dreaded silly string. |
| pickle from a fake. A pickle is not officially a pickle | | | | Marlboro, MA makes the cut again! The two other |
| unless it bounces. Keep in mind that if your pickle | | | | cities you can feel silly string safe are Southington, |
| doesn't bounce do not, I repeat, do not throw it in | | | | CT and Mobile, AL. |
| the street in Trenton, NJ. It is illegal to throw a | | | | Now, how many of you feel an overpowering |
| bad pickle in the street in Trenton. | | | | need to carry a gun to church with you. Sure, in |
| Nutty Nature Laws | | | | this day and age you read about people opening |
| Our government is starting to confuse itself with | | | | fire on a church now and again...but does this really |
| God. Texas has started a program that gives | | | | make it appropriate to carry your own. In at least |
| grants to political subdivisions to modify and | | | | 3 states in the Union the answer is YES! |
| change the weather. I did not know we could do | | | | Massachusetts states all men must carry a rifle to |
| this! Do you think they can modify my weather | | | | church on Sunday. They do not state why, but |
| to match Hawaii's? | | | | hunting is illegal on Sundays there. |
| I wonder who gets the fine when the Arkansas | | | | Maine and South Carolina state you must bring |
| River rises higher than the Main Street bridge in | | | | your shotgun to church in case of an Indian |
| Little Rock. God or the Governor? | | | | attack. Is that Indian as in India...or Indian as in |
| Some states tell mother nature what she can | | | | Native American??? What year are these states |
| grow and where. In Maryland thistles are illegal to | | | | living in? In 1792, Columbus sailed the seas of |
| grow in your yard. Hard enough, but you can at | | | | blue...are you living in these states...do you even |
| least cut them down. Pueblo, Colorado has | | | | own a shotgun? |
| deemed it is illegal to allow dandelions to grow | | | | Some states just make you wonder why...why |
| within city limits. I searched through hundreds of | | | | did they feel the need to put these laws in the |
| photos of Pueblo and did not see one dandelion! I | | | | books. Take Billings, Montana where it is illegal to |
| guess the dandelions learned their lesson! (I sure | | | | bring a bomb or rocket to the city council |
| wish the thistles would.) | | | | meeting...note to self...never join the city council in |
| Minnesota passed a law stating that all areas | | | | Billings. |
| where mosquitoes incubate and hatch are public | | | | Who knows what goes on in Destin, FL?! In this |
| nuisances. Did they say the whole state is a public | | | | city you may not shoot off a torpedo in a park. |
| nuisance? Minnesota is known as the "land of | | | | Interesting...note number 2...never go to the park |
| 10,000 lakes"...the word minnesota means water in | | | | in Destin! |
| the language of the Dakota Indians. Do you think | | | | My favorite? North Andover, MA where it is illegal |
| there is any place in that state mosquitoes are | | | | to use a space gun. And I thought we only had |
| not incubating and hatching?? | | | | alien problems in Roswell, NM! Why do you |
| How about in Utah, where it is illegal to cause a | | | | suppose it is illegal to use "space guns" in this city. |
| catastrophe. Here is the law: | | | | Do they have a deviant alien population, space |
| Utah: 76-6-105. Causing a catastrophe. | | | | gunning people down in the streets? |
| (1) Any person who by explosion, fire, flood, | | | | Silly Smiling Laws |
| avalanche, collapse of a building, release of poison | | | | Anthony J. D'Angelo said, "Smile, it is the key that |
| gas, radioactive material, or other harmful or | | | | fits the lock of every body's heart." Apparently it |
| destructive force or substance, or by any other | | | | is also the key to staying out of jail in Idaho |
| means, causes a widespread injury or damage to | | | | where a person must smile before they go out in |
| persons or property is guilty of causing a | | | | public. Wait honey, I'm not ready to go yet. I |
| catastrophe. | | | | haven't put on my smile. |
| (2) Causing a catastrophe is a felony of the | | | | In New Jersey you may not frown at a |
| second degree if the person causes it knowingly | | | | policeman. This must be why people smile and say |
| and a class A misdemeanor if caused recklessly. | | | | thanks when they get a ticket. I'd rather be in |
| Enacted by Chapter 196, 1973 General Session | | | | Michigan. A man may not scowl at his wife on |
| Now I understand some of that, but how can you | | | | Sunday in Michigan. I bet lots of men go to jail on |
| cause a flood?! What other harmful force, | | | | Sunday's. Imagine...Honey, here is the chores |
| Godzilla? The part of this law I really love is that it | | | | list...But I was watching the big game...Is that a |
| is a felony if you cause a catastrophe knowingly, | | | | scowl I see on your face...911! |
| and a misdemeanor if caused recklessly. What | | | | Tombstone, AZ does not say you have to smile, |
| happens if it was an accident? Do you have to do | | | | or that you have to frown for that matter. |
| some type of community service? I can hear the | | | | Tombstone just wants to guarantee everyone is |
| court case now. I'm sorry sir, I forgot to close | | | | on the same playing field. The law states that it is |
| the gate behind me and Godzilla just followed me | | | | illegal to smile unless you are missing at least one |
| out. | | | | visible tooth. No, no, wisdom teeth don't count. |
| I think California has it right. Here is a law that | | | | They prefer one of the obvious, right up front |
| gives! In California sunshine is guaranteed to the | | | | teeth where others will notice. The only time you |
| masses. | | | | can have a fully toothed smile is if you happen to |
| Wacky Weapons Laws | | | | be under 18 years of age. |
| There are some things in life that should go | | | | Bernard's Township, NJ is one happy place. The |
| without saying. Such as detonating nuclear | | | | town has been declared a "Frown Free Zone". |