| Tough love and the strength to do it can be hard. | | | | made their choices in life, and now they are |
| As a parent or grandparent raising teens today, it | | | | dealing with their actions. Tough love is not an |
| can be difficult to know when to hold on tightly | | | | easy path for the caregiver or the teen, and is |
| and when to let go and allow them to make their | | | | often chosen as a last resort, after many other |
| own mistakes. Tough love has been a hot topic in | | | | possibilities have been tried and failed. You must |
| the media lately - the idea of loving your children, | | | | be strong, and stand your ground. |
| but allowing them to make their mistakes and | | | | If your teen is involved in drugs or alcohol, this |
| learn from them, without bailing them out or | | | | path may be especially difficult. You will have to |
| saving them from the consequences. The idea | | | | refrain from giving them money, as it may be |
| behind this is that saving your teenager from the | | | | used to buy drugs. Tough love is often harder on |
| consequences of his or her actions only | | | | the caregiver than it is on the child, as they are |
| encourages further bad behavior in the future. | | | | constantly put on the spot. You will constantly be |
| Tough love is not a path for everyone. It requires | | | | the "bad guy", and have to refuse your child's |
| strength and determination on the part of the | | | | demands. |
| caregiver - a commitment on the part of all | | | | Most importantly, tough love is a learning |
| parties involved that the teen will have to deal | | | | experience. After teens or young adults have |
| with the consequences of their behavior. That | | | | failed to learn through instruction, praise, |
| means that if he gets arrested, he may have to | | | | reinforcement, or punishment while growing up, |
| spend a night in jail. If she gets pregnant, she'll | | | | tough love allows them to learn from the most |
| have to learn how to be a mom and go to school | | | | difficult instructor - life itself. Allowing your children |
| at the same time. You will have to stand by and | | | | or grandchildren to make their own choices and |
| watch as your child struggles to learn new skills. It | | | | then requiring them to stick with those choices will |
| truly is a lesson from the school of hard knocks, | | | | make them strong, independent people. It will also |
| but for some individuals, tough love is the only | | | | test your strength, patience, and endurance. They |
| way to learn. | | | | don't call it "tough" love for nothing! It's emotionally |
| As a caregiver or parent, you can provide advice, | | | | demanding, and incredibly difficult for all parties |
| encouragement, and support while loving your | | | | involved. However, if this is the path you've |
| teen through their poor choices - tough love is not | | | | chosen, stick with it! The rewards will be well |
| about abandonment. It is, however, about not | | | | worth the investment, in the end. |
| giving in, and not bailing them out. They have | | | | |